Lessons I Learned In Love

God has been very extra nice to me for the past three years. It's like I've been enrolled in a special course about love and I have a tutor whose been very patient with me. I am afraid about forever's and lifetime's and promises. I have heard those words a lot of times and no one really fulfilled it. When I opened this particular God's Gift three years ago, I was even afraid that it would end sooner or later. Maybe that's also the reason why for the past years in this relationship, I've been very cautious about investing my emotions thinking that it will not be worth it. I've been a stubborn girlfriend and all I do is blame my partner whenever we got into bad situations. For the first half of our relationship, my ego was bigger than the love that I could give to him.

Listening is one of my weakness. I was even teased as a deaf by my closest friends cause I had hard time hearing what they were talking about. But when the time comes I had to argue about certain things with my partner, I'd automatically close my heart to hear what he has to say cause I know it will definitely fall back on me and the truth as they say, do hurts so bad. I didn't have the idea that my partner, who is by nature a silent person, could tell me bad characteristics and habits I couldn't admit to my self. Later I learned that he only wants me to realize that there are instances in our life that we have to listen to other person because they can see where can bad things lead us.

I admit that I have trust issues. Coming from a betrayal relationship made me into a person whose afraid to build trust right away. But he constantly assured me that his love is for me always. I've shed tears before cause I was afraid that he would do the same betrayal my past relationship left me. He would always say that I need to trust him and his faithfulness to our relationship and to me will always stay the same.

Selflessness is impossible if you won't allow yourself to be tamed. That's the third lesson I've been learning in this kind of relationship that we have. If your pride is bigger than what you are, then there's no room for sacrificial love or for charity. This virtue is inevitable to us cause we think about each other first before ourselves. This is a working progress though, but I am blessed enough that this kind of virtue is not hard to find everyday I am with him.