Retreat
Have you ever felt empty?
Have you ever felt ashamed?
Have you ever felt lonely?
Have you ever felt disappointed with yourself?
When was the last time you were given the privilege to feel something?
Three minutes has passed and I still don't know what should I write in this entry. My birthday just ended. Two minutes ago, the day felt like the 24 hours was not enough. I had to finish errands during that day that I forgot to stop by a church to pray and attend a mass. But at around 7PM, I was told that we will visit the burial of the mother of my godmother and that there will be a mass at 8PM.
It felt surreal to celebrate my birthday at a burial of someone.
The unexpected thing that happened was that I was able to see old faces from my childhood. The same people/adult I was with during my childhood. It brought back a lot of memories. I know a part of what I am today was because there were people around me who became influential in my life and I know somehow shaped me.
Let's say that was 20 years ago. So where did it led me?
I saw people from my past and the thing I mostly heard didn't let me feel happy. I didn't hear praises. I didn't hear amusement. I didn't hear pride. I didn't feel loved. I didn't feel appreciated.
I remember a story about a water in a container, which was put inside a freezer, and everyday was told awful, negative, hateful, bashful, shameful, irritating words. After few days, the water didn't look pleasing. It looked awful.
Another story was that the water in the container was put inside the freezer and told everyday beautiful, amazing, encouraging, appreciative, happy words. After few days, the water became a beautiful crystal. It looked royal and precious.
Same thing with person, feed it with garbage, you'd see and smell garbage.
I'm afraid I used to be surrounded with people talking negative and unpleasing words with each other. I heard and absorbed it like a sponge. Without really knowing the consequences.
But now, I am back to zero. I have matured and intentional with the people I want to be surrounded with. I am grateful for the people I am with today. Whenever I see them, I hear appreciation, I hear praises, I hear pride, I hear beautiful words. I felt loved.
I thank God for the grace He has bestowed upon me. I thank God for bringing me to a place where I will constantly grow. Grow in faith, virtue, character and love. I thank God for this life and chances that He has given me everyday. For forgiving me every single mistake and sin that I have committed. I thank God for bring me to people who will truly love me for who I am. I thank God for letting me meet wonderful, most wonderful people on earth. For being a source of happiness to other, for letting me serve without having to expect anything in return. I thank God for planting BIG BIG BIG DREAMS into my WONDERFUL, PRECIOUS HEART. I thank God for planting these dreams for I know I will have them by God's grace in the perfect God's time. I thank God for my family. For letting me be part of their lives. I thank God for people who are still believing in me. For still believing in what I can do. In my talent. In my skills. In my leadership. I thank God for making me feel so deep. I thank God for giving me this body. A body that will be the instrument to help others. I thank God for me. For my heart. For my giving wonderful heart.
Have you ever felt ashamed?
Have you ever felt lonely?
Have you ever felt disappointed with yourself?
When was the last time you were given the privilege to feel something?
Three minutes has passed and I still don't know what should I write in this entry. My birthday just ended. Two minutes ago, the day felt like the 24 hours was not enough. I had to finish errands during that day that I forgot to stop by a church to pray and attend a mass. But at around 7PM, I was told that we will visit the burial of the mother of my godmother and that there will be a mass at 8PM.
It felt surreal to celebrate my birthday at a burial of someone.
The unexpected thing that happened was that I was able to see old faces from my childhood. The same people/adult I was with during my childhood. It brought back a lot of memories. I know a part of what I am today was because there were people around me who became influential in my life and I know somehow shaped me.
Let's say that was 20 years ago. So where did it led me?
I saw people from my past and the thing I mostly heard didn't let me feel happy. I didn't hear praises. I didn't hear amusement. I didn't hear pride. I didn't feel loved. I didn't feel appreciated.
I remember a story about a water in a container, which was put inside a freezer, and everyday was told awful, negative, hateful, bashful, shameful, irritating words. After few days, the water didn't look pleasing. It looked awful.
Another story was that the water in the container was put inside the freezer and told everyday beautiful, amazing, encouraging, appreciative, happy words. After few days, the water became a beautiful crystal. It looked royal and precious.
Same thing with person, feed it with garbage, you'd see and smell garbage.
I'm afraid I used to be surrounded with people talking negative and unpleasing words with each other. I heard and absorbed it like a sponge. Without really knowing the consequences.
But now, I am back to zero. I have matured and intentional with the people I want to be surrounded with. I am grateful for the people I am with today. Whenever I see them, I hear appreciation, I hear praises, I hear pride, I hear beautiful words. I felt loved.
I thank God for the grace He has bestowed upon me. I thank God for bringing me to a place where I will constantly grow. Grow in faith, virtue, character and love. I thank God for this life and chances that He has given me everyday. For forgiving me every single mistake and sin that I have committed. I thank God for bring me to people who will truly love me for who I am. I thank God for letting me meet wonderful, most wonderful people on earth. For being a source of happiness to other, for letting me serve without having to expect anything in return. I thank God for planting BIG BIG BIG DREAMS into my WONDERFUL, PRECIOUS HEART. I thank God for planting these dreams for I know I will have them by God's grace in the perfect God's time. I thank God for my family. For letting me be part of their lives. I thank God for people who are still believing in me. For still believing in what I can do. In my talent. In my skills. In my leadership. I thank God for making me feel so deep. I thank God for giving me this body. A body that will be the instrument to help others. I thank God for me. For my heart. For my giving wonderful heart.
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